Self-Improvement while You Sleep

Mr Swanky — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 07:47:00 -0700

This happened a while ago, but I’m inspired by Robin’s use of her blog to record random things for posterity. It’s no EverNote, but hey, I don’t need an external brain as much as I need to work on my internal brain, and maybe this technique will prove valuable. Anyhow…

I had a dream a few weeks ago, and upon waking forgot nearly all of it, except for this bit which really amused me:

I was having an argument with some guy (who doesn’t exist in the real world), and the guy was a total goody-two-shoes, boy scout, rule following, idiot sort of a guy. So, I’m about to tell him what a complete dork he is, and I start the rant off with:

“Listen, Dudley Douchebag…”

The thing is, I’ve never used, or heard anyone use, this term before, and it took me totally by surprise. I have to say, I’m pleased with my subconscious’ ability to come up with a pretty decent burn like that. I literally don’t remember anything else from the rant (or the dream), just that opener, but I think it’s safe to assume that it was a similar combination of stunning, rapier-like wit, and hard hitting truths.

Actually, I think I woke up mid-dream rant, because I was half-awake enough that I half-realized that I’d dream-said “Dudley Douchebag” and felt a compelling need to make sure I remembered it, unlike the majority of my dreams, which I don’t recall at all upon waking.

Of course, in the real world my rants are more likely to start off (and continue, and end) with even less clever, course expletives, but maybe if I keep up this sort of dream, my waking rants will improve accordingly. Kind of like improving one’s vocabulary by listening to a dictionary on tape when falling asleep or something. Except with more douchebag.

Rejected

Mr Swanky — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 12:05:00 -0700

Joe started a blog and made the error of asking me what I thought he should name it. Wisely, he rejected all my suggestions. I started out not unreasonably, but it went downhill fast.

Here’s what could have been (“highlights” only):

Caution: May Contain Rambling

Let’s Talk About Joe

Joe: Threat or Menace?

There’s Something About Joe

Joe: The Awakening

I actually quite like a couple of those, and the last three never fail to crack me up. Alas, he went with The Winds of Change, which is his prerogative, I suppose.

Anyhow, he has a damn blog now, so I was moved to add a bunch of links at the bottom of this page to people I know who have got a damn blog. Also, check it out! I actually put in a freakin’ link in this post! Next thing you know I’m gonna bust out an image or some other fancy-ass webby crap!

Go look at Joe’s blog and check out the blogs of those other miscreants and ne’er-do-wells I linked down there.

Dial M for Mr. Swanky: Tag cracking myself up

Self-Improvement while You Sleep

Rejected